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Luncher
Thank you
Yesterday
Instagram highlights
Tired
Breakfast in the sun
After
Pre workout
Lunch number 4 first week done!
Done with this week!
So yes, finally get munching lunch at home for the weekend, then it all starts again on Monday. Lunch today was as schedule Chanterelle filled beef with potatoes and sauce. But it was ground beef steak with potatoes and chanterelle sauce! What luck! Did not have to eat the sauce because I'm "allergic to mushrooms." Have said so ever since I was little, it's one of the few things I do not like. So we took an extra potatoes instead, which felt a bit messy in the head afterwards but I'll train today and need to increase my intake!
I skip to meet friends tonight, have to pack and fix and want to workout with my new instructor schedule today aswell. Tomorrow we move to the cottage, nervously. How will my social life be like? Admittedly, there are buses every hour to town, but yes you know the thing.
For those of you wondering, YES I feel very lonely. All the time. I'm trying to connect with friends and so, especially as I hung out with quite a lot before, but they move on as well, they have found her and it's hard to get up in touch again .. But I try. It's scary, is afraid they will judge me. That I'm boring, or because I have an eating disorder. It's embarrassing, I'm ashamed. But I can not help it ..
"I am a stranger to myself, I'm afraid to get in touch with OLD friends .. Why is it like that? is it me in person who has become shy, or is it because of the eating disorder and why should not I get the response like all other teenagers who hang out with each other all the time? .. What happened? Do they want to be with me? Am I boring? idiotic? Nerdy? .. Nobody is perfect right? Or ..? "
Complete
Should i?
New setup
Yesterday/today
Lunch number 3
Today
Workout
Detta var en liten del av min träning idag, efter jag var klar så åt jag en banan. Tog ett extra glas mjölk innan middagen och min middag var lövbiff, ungsbakad potatis med gaspacho sås och avocado samt sallad. Mums!
First of all let me say that the pictures were bad and blurry, but it was a little discreet and in a hurry so that it had to be as it was. My mother took pictures to put part of the blame on her .. :)
This was a small part of my workout today, after I was done, so I ate a banana. Took an extra glass of milk before dinner and my dinner was minute steak, baked potato with gaspacho sauce and avocado and salad. Yum!
My training looks like this:
Warming, Cross - 10 mins
TRX One Leg Squat - 12 x 3 / each leg
TRX Lunge - 12 x 3 / each leg
TRX T and Y Deltoid fly - 12 x 3
Pilates Ball - Back curl 12 x 3 (ASJOBBIG).
Chest press, dumbbells - 7kg 12 x 3 (Picture)
Back Strain - 15kg 12 x 3 (Picture)
Back Extension - 5kg 12 x 3 (Picture)
Abdominal exercises: Do not really know what it's called .. But lying on your back with a kettlebell above your head and lift it slightly over ground. Pulling out legs out and back. 12 x 3
Stomach rotation (kettlebell, side to side) 12 x 3
Bicycle crunches 12 x 3
Very balance and body weight workout that you can see, fun and hassle!
Before
Yes, as i said earlier i where at the hospitaltoday for weighing and meeting with a dietitian, as well as lunch. I have lost 100g, which is improving but still bad. It's not as much but still. Lunch today was meatballs, boiled potatoes and stewed vegetables. Yes it tasted like shit. the meatballs were mealy and had flour lumps and tasted nothing, they stewed vegetables tasted plastic. The potatoes were okay. That is not a good lunch, but it went down without a problem actually, the taste was just as ass.
Must complain a bit, they do not provide information about me to tell if something feels wrong or if somethought pops up in the head, they just serve up so I can put up the food and then start eating. Had a lady named Gertrud that is very special if you say so. Eating disorders are not her thing :)
The meeting with the dietician was nervous but still good, I thought she was good. Have half an hour after lunch, now this week and next. She answered any questions I asked, still hard to accept fat, but think for a lot of repetition to it to ease. Asked about diet soda, there is no danger anymore. Clearly it's scary but found out that a normal person with a weight about 70 kg should be able to drink 4 liters of diet soda a day for a long long time, years, for a chanse to anything dangerous to happen. The risk of that happening is still minimal. Thus, very minimal, so minimal that it is almost not possible to happen anything. Forgot my note today with questions. will bring it tomorrow.
She did good, I feel a little uncertainty but a beginning of a trust to her. I think this can help me.
Tomorrow, I meet Maria, my psychologist half an hour and talk a little before lunch, nice.
Today I caught a lot, Hospital, kneipbyn, gym, and now I'll maybe meet a new friend who I'll go with the longboard. Today, life feels completely okay!
What have you done today?
Ps. Pictures of some gym workouts will be posted soon, check it out!